Friday 15 November 2013

MADNESS- The Assam R*ape Festival In India Begins This Week

 The Assam R*ape Festival In India Begins This Week

Imagine if such tradition as this exists in your tradition and locality; what would be your opinion?

"Assam, INDIA — Men in India are already beginning to celebrate as the annual Assam intimate Assault Festival is just days away. Every non-married girl age 7-16 will have the chance to flee to safety or get r*ped.

Madhuban Ahluwalia who heads up the annual festival told reporters why the event is so important. “This is a long time tradition in Assam dating back thousands of years,” says Ahluwalia. “We r*pe the evil demons out of the girls, otherwise they will cheat on us and we will be forced to kill them. So it is necessary for everyone.”

The Assam Festival began in 43 BC when Baalkrishan Tamil Nadu r*ped everyone in his village of Ludhiana. Baalkrishan Tamil Nadu is remembered every year at this event, in fact the trophy given to the man with the most r*pes is called “The Baalkrishan”.

23-year-old Harikrishna Majumdar told reporters that he has been training all year for this event. “I’m going to get the most r*pes this year. I’ve been practicing r*ping my sister and her friends every day. I will be r*pe superstar number one! I will get the Baalkrishan prize this year for sure!”

11-year-old Jaitashri Majumdar told reporters she almost made it through last year’s festival without getting r*ped. “I came so close to not getting r*ped. I almost got to the ‘r*pe-free-zone’ at the edge of town, but at the last minute 9 men jumped on me and r*ped me. Luckily I am just recovering now so I can participate in this year’s events, otherwise I would be put to death by stoning.”

34-year-old Brian Barnett from Toronto who is visiting Assam on business told reporters he will be missing the festivities this year. “My company did not tell me anything about a r*pe festival happening while I was here. Are you serious, a r*pe festival? I’m getting the f**k out of this backwards country tonight.”

India is second in reported r*pes in the world only behind the United States, though critics are quick to point out that is only because most r*pes in India go unreported. For more information on the festival or if you would like to participate, please call the 24-hour Assam molestation Festival hotline at (785) 273-0325."

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